Learning from Adversity: Master Your Pickleball Mindset

A Personal Take on Learning from Adversity

After a recent tournament at Elmwood, I sat down with one of the participants, Christian, who shared something that stuck with me like a perfectly executed third shot drop. We got to talking about learning from adversity, and his team, newly formed and facing squads nearly a full rating point higher, played differently depending on who they were up against. They played defensively against the top 5.0 teams and more aggressively against the 4.0 teams. Christian’s simple observation, “We played not to lose,” hit me hard. Because honestly? I’ve done the same thing, and I see it in players all the time, from beginners cautiously dinking everything to seasoned pros who suddenly clam up under pressure.

This whole conversation brought up a crucial question for anyone who steps onto a pickleball court: When we’re facing opponents we think are better than us, are we mentally playing just to survive? If you’re playing not to lose, you will probably not win. It’s like trying to win a chess game by only reacting to your opponent’s moves. You might survive for a bit, but you’re not dictating the flow, are you?

Why We Should be Learning from Adversity

In this article, I want to show you how learning from adversity on the pickleball court isn’t just possible, it’s absolutely essential for growth and consistent success. Whether you’re facing a team better than you on paper, or your own internal doubts that whisper unhelpful things, you’ll learn how to shift from fear-driven reactions to solution-focused strategies. We’ll dive into performance psychology, mindset traps, real-time tactical adaptation, and how to define success beyond the scoreboard. I continue to live this journey, stumbling and sometimes soaring, and I know you probably have too.

This piece is for players who’ve ever walked onto the court feeling like the underdog, played timidly, and walked off wondering, “What if I’d just gone for it?” Let’s make sure next time, you do. It’s time to stop just riding the pickleball rollercoaster and start steering it.

Table of Contents

• A Personal Take on Learning from Adversity
• The Core Theory: Playing Not to Lose vs. Playing to Win
• Why This Happens Against Different Skill Levels
• The Negative Feedback Loop Explained
• Rising to the Level of Solutions We Find: The Power of Intentional Focus
• Real-Time Adjustments: Tweaking in the Heat of Battle
• Answering Possible Questions About Learning from Adversity

The Core Theory: Playing Not to Lose vs. Playing to Win

The participant’s observation about playing defensively against 5.0 teams and aggressively against 4.0 teams perfectly encapsulates the psychological difference between playing “not to lose” and playing “to win.” This is a fascinating and crucial topic in sports psychology, particularly relevant to a game like pickleball where mental agility and strategy play such a significant role. Let’s dive deep into the theory behind this phenomenon.

I distinctly remember a mixed doubles match where my partner and I were up against a notoriously strong team. In the first few points, I found myself just trying to keep the ball in play, making safe dinks and resets. My mind was screaming, “Don’t miss! Don’t give them an easy ball!” We quickly went down 0-5. It wasn’t until my partner called a timeout and simply said, “Let’s try to win the next point, not just survive it,” that something clicked. The shift was subtle but profound: my focus moved from avoiding errors to looking for openings, even tiny ones. That’s the core difference we’re exploring.

1. The “Playing Not to Lose” Mindset (Survival Mode)

Definition: This mindset focuses on avoiding mistakes, minimizing risks, and reacting to the opponent’s actions rather than proactively imposing one’s own game. The primary goal becomes preventing the opponent from scoring, rather than actively trying to score oneself.

Behavioral Manifestations in Pickleball:

• Passive play: More dinks, less aggressive drives, reluctance to speed up, avoiding going for winners.
• Targeting weaknesses: Continuously hitting to the perceived weaker opponent, even if it leads to less challenging rallies.
• Risk aversion: Opting for safer, higher-percentage shots even if they are less impactful.
• Defensive positioning: Staying further back from the net, being hesitant to crash the net or put pressure on opponents.
• Focus on errors: Dwelling on past mistakes, leading to increased anxiety and self-criticism.

The Mental Traps of Defensive Play:

• Fear of failure: The dominant emotion is often fear of making an error, looking bad, or losing. This fear triggers the brain’s “fight, flight, or freeze” response, often leading to “freeze” or “flight” (retreating into a defensive shell).
• Negative feedback loop: Our brain defaults to what’s going wrong because it’s hardwired to keep us safe and is trying, at all cost, to avoid those issues. When playing not to lose, every mistake confirms the fear, reinforcing the belief that the opponent is superior and that caution is necessary. This creates a vicious cycle of anxiety, cautious play, and potentially more mistakes.
• Self-preservation: The mind prioritizes safety over opportunity. It’s a primal instinct to avoid danger, and in this context, “danger” is perceived as losing or performing poorly.
• External locus of control: Players might feel that the outcome is more dependent on the opponent’s actions or luck, rather than their own control.

2. The “Playing to Win” Mindset (Offensive/Solution-Focused Mode)

Definition: This mindset is characterized by a proactive, assertive approach, focused on creating opportunities to score, imposing one’s strengths, and adapting to the game’s flow with a forward-looking perspective. The primary goal is to dictate play and win points.

Behavioral Manifestations in Pickleball:

• Aggressive and strategic play: Employing a full range of shots (drives, drops, offensive dinks, lobs, speed-ups), actively seeking to put opponents in defensive positions.
• Playing to strengths: Utilizing one’s best shots and strategic patterns, even if it means taking calculated risks.
• Opportunistic play: Recognizing and exploiting open court, reacting quickly to high balls, and going for put-aways.
• Proactive positioning: Aggressively taking the net, anticipating opponent’s shots, and moving with purpose.
• Focus on solutions and next points: Learning from mistakes but quickly shifting focus to what can be done differently in the next rally.

Mindset for Success:

• Confidence and self-efficacy: A belief in one’s ability to execute shots and strategies, leading to a willingness to take risks.
• Positive feedback loop: Successful shots and aggressive plays reinforce confidence, encouraging further proactive behavior. Even mistakes are seen as learning opportunities, fueling improvement rather than fear.
• Growth mindset: A belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work, leading to a focus on improvement and learning from challenges.
• Internal locus of control: Players feel they have control over their performance and the outcome, empowering them to take initiative.
• Flow state potential: When focused on solutions and immersed in the game, athletes are more likely to enter a “flow state” – a highly focused and enjoyable state of optimal performance.

Why This Happens Against Different Skill Levels

Christian’s observation that his team played differently against 5.0 and 4.0 teams is a direct consequence of perceived threat and self-perception. It’s a common human response to adjust your game based on who’s across the net.

Against 5.0 Teams (Perceived Superiority):

• Increased perceived threat: The higher skill level of the 5.0 team creates a stronger sense of threat and a greater fear of losing. This triggers the “not to lose” mindset.
• Underestimation of self, overestimation of opponent: Players may unconsciously believe they are not good enough to beat the 5.0 team outright, leading to a strategy of damage control rather than active pursuit of victory.
• Mental surrender: There can be a subtle, almost imperceptible, mental surrender before the game even begins, where the expectation of losing leads to a defensive posture.
• The “Underdog” Factor and the “Not to Lose” Trap: When a team is the “underdog” in a match, the natural inclination to play “not to lose” is amplified. A perceived skill gap triggers a safety mechanism: “They’re objectively better, so we must be careful”. This can lead to increased pressure for perfection and extremely cautious play.

Against 4.0 Teams (Perceived Parity or Inferiority):

• Reduced perceived threat: The lower skill level of the 4.0 team reduces the fear of losing, allowing for a more relaxed and assertive approach.
• Self-belief: Players likely believe they can beat a 4.0 team, fostering a “to win” mindset.
• Opportunity recognition: With less pressure, players are more likely to see and exploit opportunities, leading to more aggressive and strategic shot selection.
• Psychological comfort zone: Playing against similar or slightly weaker opponents allows players to operate within their comfort zone, where they are more willing to experiment and play their natural game.

The Negative Feedback Loop Explained: Why We Get Stuck

Our brains aren’t built to tackle problems and solutions simultaneously. We must consciously direct our focus. Left to its own devices, our brain will default to identifying what’s going wrong, driven by its primal urge to keep us safe. This instinct, however, inadvertently creates a self-defeating loop that devastates our on-court game.

Let’s break down this concept in a pickleball context:

1. Initial Problem/Fear: A player perceives a strong opponent (e.g., a 5.0 team) and experiences anxiety about losing or making mistakes.
2. Focus on Problems (What Could Go Wrong): The player’s attention shifts to potential errors, the opponent’s strengths, and the consequences of losing. Thoughts might include: “What if I miss this drop shot?” “They hit so hard, I can’t keep up.” “I always mess up my third shot against good players.”
3. Defensive/Cautious Action: To avoid these perceived problems, the player adopts a safe, defensive strategy. They might hit weaker dinks, avoid speed-ups, or stay further back.
4. Suboptimal Performance/Errors: This cautious play, paradoxically, often leads to more errors or missed opportunities. Weak dinks get attacked, defensive positioning allows opponents to dictate, and a lack of assertiveness prevents scoring opportunities.
5. Confirmation of Fear: The errors or missed opportunities confirm the initial fear and belief that they aren’t good enough or that they are bound to lose. “See? I told myself I’d miss that drop.” “They’re just too good.”
6. Reinforced Negative Focus: This confirmation strengthens the negative feedback loop, leading to even greater anxiety and a deeper commitment to the “not to lose” mentality in subsequent points. The cycle repeats, eroding confidence and performance.

The Why

Why is this “hardwired”? Our brains are wired for survival. Identifying threats and avoiding danger was paramount. In a modern competitive context, “danger” can be interpreted as failure or loss. This primal wiring, while essential for survival, can be detrimental in performance-based scenarios where calculated risk and proactive thinking are required.

Rising to the Level of Solutions We Find: The Power of Intentional Focus

The antidote to the negative feedback loop is a conscious, intentional shift from problem-focused thinking to solution-focused thinking. This is where the magic happens and you truly start learning from adversity.

What is Solution-Focused Thinking?

• Focus on the desired outcome: Instead of dwelling on what you don’t want to happen (e.g., “Don’t hit the ball out”), focus on what you do want to happen (e.g., “Hit the ball deep to the baseline”).
• Identify strengths and resources: Recognize what you can do, what has worked in the past, and what resources (skills, partner’s strengths) you have available.
• Small, actionable steps: Break down desired outcomes into manageable, immediate actions. Instead of “I need to win this game,” think “I need to make this serve,” or “I need to hit a good third shot drop”.
• “Miracle Question” (adapted): Imagine a scenario where the problem is gone. What would that look like? How would you be playing? This helps to envision success and identify concrete steps.
• “Scaling Questions”: On a scale of 1-10, how well are you performing this aspect? What would it take to move up just one point? This makes improvement seem attainable.

How to Implement in Pickleball:

Pre-match Routine:

• Visualization: Before the match, mentally rehearse successful shots, strategic plays, and positive reactions to challenges. See yourself executing your game plan confidently.
• Affirmations/Positive Self-Talk: Use phrases like “I am capable,” “I will play aggressively,” “I will focus on creating opportunities”.
• Define “Winning” Beyond the Score: For a match against a 5.0 team, “winning” might be defined as executing 80% of your third shot drops, or getting to the kitchen consistently, regardless of the final score. This shifts the focus from an outcome you can’t entirely control (the score) to processes you can control.

During the Match:

• “Release, Reset, Refocus”:
  • Release: Acknowledge a mistake, then physically or mentally “let it go” (e.g., tap your paddle, take a deep breath).
  • Reset: Bring yourself back to the present moment (e.g., focus on your breathing, look at the ball).
  • Refocus: Direct your attention to the next point and a specific, actionable solution for that point (e.g., “I will aim for their backhand,” “I will hit a soft drop”).
• “One-point mentality”: Focus solely on the current point. Don’t dwell on the previous point or worry about the overall score.
• Communicate Solutions with Partner: Instead of “We’re missing too many drops,” try “Let’s focus on hitting deep drops this point”.
• Actively Seek Opportunities: Look for openings, anticipate opponent’s moves, and be ready to attack when the opportunity arises.
• Embrace Aggression (with calculated risk): Recognize that errors are a part of playing aggressively. The goal isn’t to be error-free, but to make impactful plays.

Post-Match Reflection:

• Analyze Solutions, Not Just Problems: Instead of “I kept hitting it out,” ask “What could I have done to hit it in?” or “When did I hit it in, and why?”.
• Identify “Exceptions”: Were there any points where the “problem” didn’t occur? What was different about those moments?.
• Develop Actionable Practice Goals: Translate insights into specific drills or practice focuses for next time.

This process of learning from adversity is a continuous journey. For more on the power of solution-focused approaches in sports, check out this insightful article on Solution-Focused Brief Therapy in Sports Psychology. This kind of intentional thinking can truly transform your game. You might also find our guide on Pickleball the Mental Game helpful for building resilience.

PickleTip Pro Insight:

Here’s what I’d tell a beginner struggling with this “not to lose” mentality: Don’t be afraid to look silly! Seriously. The path to improvement is paved with attempts, some of which won’t land. The truly great players aren’t those who never miss, but those who are willing to try, learn, and adjust. That wild Erne you tried that went out? That’s not a failure, it’s a data point telling you where you need to tweak your timing or positioning. Get out there and collect those data points!

Real-Time Adjustments: Tweaking in the Heat of Battle

Another absolutely critical layer of this discussion about learning from adversity: in-game adaptability and the iterative process of learning from perceived “failures”. This moves beyond the initial mindset shift and delves into the practical application of a “to win” mentality during actual play.

What worked against lower level opponents might not work against higher level opponents… But just because something doesn’t work at a higher level does not mean that you should abandon it completely. After the attempt, analyze the result, theorize a better way, and learn from the attempt. This is the essence of high-level performance and continuous improvement. This is about real-time adaptation and learning, becoming a true student of the game.

I remember a turning point in my own game when my go-to cross-court dink, a consistent winner against 3.0s, kept getting attacked by a new 3.5 partner in drills. For a week, I was so frustrated I almost abandoned it. Then, coach AJ pointed out: it wasn’t the dink, it was the timing and depth for this higher level of play. I started experimenting, adding a little more spin, aiming an inch shorter or deeper. That small adjustment transformed it from a liability into a versatile weapon again. It wasn’t about giving up the shot, but about evolving its application. This is the heart of constant improvement.

1. The Breakdown of “Default” Shots (Against Higher-Level Opponents)

When facing opponents with superior:

• Reaction Time: Your perfectly placed drive that was a winner against a 4.0 might be comfortably returned by a 5.0, who has the quicker hands to counter.
• Better Defense: Your third shot drop that usually pulls opponents in might be easily attacked by a 5.0 team that covers the court exceptionally well.
• Shot Prediction: Your favorite speed-up that always catches lower-level players off guard is now anticipated by a 5.0 player who has seen it before or reads your body language.
• Physical Abilities: A faster opponent might get to balls you thought were out of reach, or a stronger opponent might hit shots with more pace and spin that you struggle to handle.

This realization, that your “go-to” shots are no longer as effective, is a critical moment. This is where the “not to lose” mindset often kicks in: “My drive isn’t working, so I’ll just dink everything.” Or “My drop isn’t working, so I’ll just hit it hard every time.”

2. The Trap of “Abandonment” (The Problem-Focused Response)

When a tried-and-true shot fails against a better opponent, the “problem-focused” brain often jumps to conclusions instead of truly learning from adversity:

• “This shot is bad.” (Global condemnation)
• “I can’t do this against them.” (Personal limitation)
• “I should never try that again.” (Complete abandonment)

This leads to reduced shot repertoire, loss of confidence, and a defensive retreat, ultimately confirming the “not to lose” mindset.

3. The Power of “Tweaking in Real Time” (The Solution-Focused Response)

This is where the elite players distinguish themselves. They don’t abandon; they adjust. They engage in a rapid, iterative learning cycle:

1. Attempt (The Experiment): Execute the shot or strategy. Example: Christian hits his usual third shot drive.
2. Analyze the Result (The Data): Observe why it didn’t work this time. Example: The 5.0 opponent moved quickly to the net and blocked the drive.
3. Theorize a Better Way (The Hypothesis): Based on the analysis, generate a potential adjustment. This is where your creativity and understanding of pickleball strategy come in.
   • Angle: “Maybe I need to hit it more to the sideline, forcing them wider.”
   • Depth: “Perhaps it needs to be shorter, just over the net, or deeper to their feet.”
   • Pace: “Instead of hard, maybe a little less pace on the drive to throw off their timing.”
   • Disguise: “I need to disguise it better, making them think it’s a drop.”
   • Follow-up: “The drive itself was okay, but my follow-up at the net wasn’t aggressive enough.”
   • Pre-Shot Movement: “I wasn’t in good position to hit that drive effectively.”
4. Learn from the Attempt (The Conclusion/Refinement): Integrate the tweak into your mental playbook for that specific opponent or situation. This is not about forgetting the shot, but refining its application.
5. New Attempt (The Next Experiment): Try the tweaked shot or strategy.

This cycle is incredibly fast in high-level play, often happening within a single rally or across just a few points.

4. Focusing on the Learning Potential of “Failure”

Your last point is key: “Focusing on the learning potential of failure is much more productive than giving up on it”. This is fundamental to learning from adversity.

• Reframing “Failure”: In this context, a “failure” isn’t an indictment of the player or the shot; it’s a data point. It tells you what doesn’t work in this specific situation against this specific opponent. This is invaluable information.
• Growth Mindset in Action: This is the embodiment of a growth mindset. Instead of “I failed,” it’s “I learned how this shot is being countered”.
• Building a Strategic Arsenal: By consistently analyzing and tweaking, players don’t just have a static set of shots; they develop a dynamic, adaptable arsenal. They learn the nuances of when and how to deploy each shot against different opponents.
• Resilience and Mental Toughness: The ability to try something, see it “fail,” and then immediately begin the process of adjustment builds immense mental resilience. It teaches you that setbacks are opportunities, not endpoints.
• Empowerment: This process puts the player in control. They are actively seeking solutions and adapting, rather than passively accepting what the opponent is dictating.

Examples in Pickleball:

The Third Shot Drop:

• Problem: My usual soft drop is getting attacked by the 5.0s.
• Tweak: Try hitting it shorter, just over the net. Or try hitting it deeper to their feet. Or try driving it occasionally to keep them honest, then drop. Or fake the drive and drop.
• Learning: “Against this opponent, a short, precise drop is needed, or a faster, more disguised drop. I need to mix it up.”

The Drive:

• Problem: My drives are getting consistently blocked or returned powerfully.
• Tweak: Aim for the opponent’s body. Hit it with more top spin to keep it in. Change the angle to pull them off court. Hit it harder for pace, or softer for control.
• Learning: “This opponent can handle pace. I need to focus on angles and spin to make my drives effective, or use them as a setup for something else.”

The ErnE/Bert:

• Problem: I tried an Erne, but they just lobbed over me or hit into the open court.
• Tweak: Was my timing off? Was my partner in position to cover the middle? Did I disguise it well enough? Should I only attempt it when they hit a certain type of ball?
• Learning: “The Erne requires specific conditions and better disguise against skilled players. I need to be more selective.”

For Christian and Chuck, the realization that their standard shots weren’t working against the 5.0 teams was the prompt for the “not to lose” mentality. This is a critical point for learning from adversity. If they had instead engaged in real-time tweaking, they would’ve maintained a “to win” mindset, actively searching for solutions, and expanded their understanding of how their shots function against different levels of play. Even if they still lost, they would’ve gained invaluable tactical and strategic insights, accelerating their growth as a team. This iterative process of adapting and learning is what makes the difference between being a good player and becoming a great one. It’s about recognizing that every rally, every point, is an opportunity to gather data, refine your approach, and elevate your game.

Answering Possible Questions About Learning from Adversity

More Questions about Learning from Adversity

Learning from Adversity: The Courage to Play Your Game

The conversation after the Elmwood Moneyball tournament reveals a fundamental truth about competitive sports: Your mindset dictates your approach, and your approach significantly influences your performance. The fact that Christian and Chuck, a newly formed team, were almost one rating point lower than the top two teams and still performed well, is a testament to their individual skill and adaptability. However, Christian’s recognition that they played “not to lose” against the top teams, despite their overall good performance, is a sign of high self-awareness and a growth mindset. He understood the long-term impact: a “not to lose” strategy against truly superior opponents rarely leads to victory. It might prevent a blowout, but it doesn’t create the conditions for a win.

By consciously choosing to focus on solutions rather than problems, and by embracing the inherent risks and learning opportunities in competitive play, pickleball players can break free from the limiting “playing not to lose” loop and unlock their full potential on the court. This applies equally to recreational play and tournaments. It’s not just about hitting the ball, but about hitting it with intent, purpose, and a clear vision of victory. To bridge that “one rating point” gap, or even just to have a better chance against the absolute top teams, the mental shift is critical.

It’s about having the courage to play your game, even when facing those who are perceived as better, and trusting that in the long run, this proactive, solution-focused approach will yield superior results and foster greater growth as players. This is the heart of learning from adversity.